Its almost 4 AM in my time zone and I am wide awake. The past year I have enjoyed falling asleep around 11 PM and suddenly I find myself unable to sleep at night. I would rather sleep during the day but school and work will not agree with this habit. I love the wonderful decadence of the afternoon nap but lately haven't even been able to enjoy those for the most part. It seems my body doesn't want to sleep and simply satisfies itself with my late night reading for relaxation. I suppose I should engage in more physical activity to help encourage tiredness from my body but entering the outdoors around our home is like offering my flesh and blood up on a buffet to the millions of mosquitoes waiting for me. Not a tempting offer to say the least. 

In my late night moments I have realized some things: 1.) There is nothing on TV at this time of night, 2.) I become very reflective at these odd hours, 3.) After a certain time of night my body temperature starts fluctuating so much I can't get any resemblance of comfort and last, but not least, 4.) After finding millions of things to occupy my time on the internet to avoid studying I have ran out of stuff to do. 

At this time these are my conclusions and along with some pondering of mine and I feel I should once again begin my hopeless task of sleeping. At least I have the wonderful knowledge that eventually my body will have to give in to exhaustion and I will have a hard, peaceful sleep.

L. Scarlet

Well now I am updating again. Strange so soon I know.

I don't really have anything new today except that I am having issues with my alarm clock today. It was set for seven and at eight by boyfriend came in from hunting and asked me why I hadn't left for school yet. Turns out I turned off my alarm in my sleep so I missed my aerobics class and I really needed to be there! I was saving that last absence allowed for a day when I would get sick, I always get sick so it was a good plan, stupid alarm clock.

I had a lot of homework to do tonight, job applications to fill out and housework to do and I finally got most of it done. I am a full time student but I am trying to find a job because I need some saved money for something special I am planning. Its just taking time for me to hear back about any of the jobs and I don't like waiting. I can't make a thousand dollars sitting around doing nothing! (That would be great if I could!)

A funny tidbit in my life right now, actually its just sad, but I put my boyfriend on a gag order kind of. He isn't allowed to talk about any sports me me until Saturday. I happen to live in Minnesota and sports was a bit insane here for the past few days, we had Twins baseball games to freak out about, the first Wild home game of the season and then there are the ALL IMPORTANT VIKINGS VS. PACKERS GAME! I am so sick of sports, my boyfriend isn't allowed to talk about sports until Saturday. I don't even want to hear it mentioned in passing!

All for now,
L.Scarlet

(happy it didn't rain today!)

If I was going on a trip I would probably bring three types of reading material with me. I would have to bring a good, serious novel, a trashy romance novel and my cosmo magazine. That would leave me pretty happy, but I usually fall asleep on trips.

Hello there,
        I have spent the summer so far, the past 10 weeks to be exact, living with my boyfriend. I am almost two hours from my family and have had plenty of time to spend trying to reflect on my life. I, of course, have spent a lot of time bonding with my boyfriend and even though we had been dating for three years I was still surprised on how much we can learn about eachother. I took a job I thought I would hate and in the end was sad to be leaving the friends I made there. I was so happy and touched when I was told that I would be missed. I got back a little part of me that I didn't know I could find again. I was able to make friends and when that happened I learned about myself. 
       I have learned that I can be judgemental at times without giving others a chance, and I am trying hard to change that because that is a fault in others that I do not approve of so why should I do it. I have learned that there is nothing wrong with being shy as long as you are still approachable and not defensive. There is a big difference, but its all in the body language. I also learned that in order to live with my future police officer in the future it will require lots of compromise and having support of others that know how weird and stressful it can be. 
        The most entertaining part of the summer so far is realizing how much people are willing to tell you about their age in order to get a discount for being old. Understandable with the economy but I am told they normally are that crabby about getting a senior discount. I can't wait until I am old and I can get 10% off of stuff because I crack and pop when my joints move.

This is all for now (I have to go pack),
LadyScarlet88

       This fall, I am supposed to start at a new college. This would not be a big deal to me except this college is four hours away from my family/friends and I don't even know what I want to do anymore. I am supposed to be majoring in English: Literature and Language but I am not even sure what I would use that degree for. This wouldn't be as much of a problem either if I had any idea what I want to do with my life.
       I no longer know what my likes or dislikes are, this is plainly clear to me because I don't even enjoy shopping. I used to love shopping and finding clothes that I absolutely love and shoes I adore, but I can't find anything that seems appealing. Shopping may not be an important thing to most people, but as a young woman, shopping is my refugee. It is the activity that I make time for because it makes me feel delicious and includes time with my friends but no more. I can't even enjoy that simple pleasure, so I wonder if I can't decide what I want to wear for a day how am I supposed to know what I want to do for my life's work?
       So now I am making the tough decision to not go to that far away place for my education. So now I am feeling pain for lost dreams, the sad part is I am hurting for a dream I didn't even want anymore. So I ask myself "Can you mourn for a dream you didn't even want anymore?"

My computer is out of order at the moment so I am writing this at the public library.... which only lets me use the computer and hour a day, twice a week. So I am irriatated because I was trying to start writing again and hoping that this would help and now I am limited in my computer time. Grrr.... Well I just wanted to vent that out there for the world.  (I am just happy the issue isn't with my harddrive but the other parts of the computer so I won't lose any information/pictures/writing on there.

I like to listen to classic rock songs that I know by heart. They keep my mind moving but not distracted from what I am trying to get done. This is a different type of music than what I listen to normally so it also doesn't get boring.

I loved the decade I was a teenager in the 00's. lol. But if I knew it was only for a little bit and I could come back to the one I had, I would choose the 50's. I believe it was the last generation of teenagers that we thought to have all promise and innocence. Soda fountains and "going steady". The 60's changed that forever.

I have been dating my boyfriend for some years now and this summer we are living together in a small, I mean really small, apartment while he goes to classes and I work. We spent a lot of time, as much as possible in other words, together before this summer but we have never formally lived together. The first week it was great. I loved knowing he would be right there in the morning and when I went to bed again at night. We got to make our meals together, spend all our freetime with eachother and overall just enjoyed eachothers company.
It has been a couple more weeks now that we have been living together and I am starting to realize why people say that in this day and age you should live together before you get married. It would be nice to know ahead of time all the things the other person will do that will drive you absolutely crazy. For example, he leaves the toilet seat up! He explained that it took just as much energy for me to put it down as it takes him to put it up and its just something I should get over. I responed that I wasn't going to get over it, so he promised to put it back down. I guess he just didn't promise to remember the promise. It drives me crazy.
He has tons of little bathroom habits that drive me crazy but there is one that makes me want to scream. He climbs out a shower, where he just got all clean mind you, and uses a towel to dry off. Now in my mind that towel could be used to dry off with again, but he is convinced it is dirty and can't be used again. I would understand if he liked to spend time in the towel, before/after the shower for a while but he touches the towel WHEN HE IS CLEAN for maybe two minutes tops. Now some people out there may agree with him that it is dirty but there is another aspect to this issue. We live in a small apartment with having to go to a laudramat to clean our clothes and other stuff. It costs $3 for a load to be washed and cleaned. We are young and broke, and he showers twice a day and I shower once. Not only that, we own 8 towels because he is cheap and doesn't believe we need others. The towel could be used twice and save some time and money!
I know this probably sounds stupid to most people in the world but these dumb little things drive me crazy! Maybe I wouldn't be so crabby about this though if he didn't hit me in the head with the pillows he throws around at night. Peaceful sleep would be nice.
So the point of this entry, besides a little bit of ranting, is to share the advice my mother gave me. "Before you marry someone, live with them first because bills and marriage sounds easy unless you take into account all the little stuff that will drive you crazy."

~Lady Scarlet

Skip the meal, if this is the last thing I get to eat I won't worry about calories. I want a cheesecake sampler of every kind of cheesecake in the world. Lots and lots of cheesecake, turtle cheesecake, strawberry cheesecake, chocolate cheesecake, raspberry cheesecake. Yum. Now I want cheesecake.